Sometimes in life, you meet people who have no shame. I’m not sure how this comes about, but it’s always a fascinating thing. I’m speaking, of course, about farts.
There is a guy at work. I honestly have no idea who he is because I have never seen his face. The only way I know him is by his shoes and loud grunting and farting when I enter the bathroom. I am simply astounded by the noises this guy makes and I always leave the bathroom trying to hold back my intense laughter, at least until I make it out the door where I end up bursting into tears.
Today was an especially exceptional circumstance. I just consumed a rather large sweet tea from Wackadoo’s (only $1!) and was making my way to relieve myself. I entered the bathroom to notice both stalls were occupied. I didn’t care much as I don’t suffer from stage fright when peeing as I once did as a kid. Then I heard it. “Unnnn…UHHHH!” I knew exactly who it was. I sat there at the urinal trying my best not to laugh and to merely look out the raised window at the clouds. There were some loud plops and lots of gas followed by another “Ahhh…” Then I heard some newspaper ruffling. I instantly put myself into the shoes of the second pooper. Imagine being in the bathroom trying to take a poop, just sitting there reading your paper when Grunty McFarts decides to take up residence in the adjacent stall. Now you have to sit through his grunting and loud gas as you try to focus in on your own goal. After failing at that, you decide to read the paper to try to get your mind off the atrocities occurring mere feet away from where you sit, pants at your ankles. The grunting and forced farting continues. You ruffle the paper as to say “Hey, asshole, I’m sitting right next to you.” Still, the horror goes on.
I sat there for a moment playing this all out in my head, then I had to quickly zip up and leave the bathroom as I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I trotted out the door and waited to get at least 10 feet away before cracking a big smile and laughing to myself for the entire walk back to this desk.
Jumping pic of the day
There is a guy at work. I honestly have no idea who he is because I have never seen his face. The only way I know him is by his shoes and loud grunting and farting when I enter the bathroom. I am simply astounded by the noises this guy makes and I always leave the bathroom trying to hold back my intense laughter, at least until I make it out the door where I end up bursting into tears.
Today was an especially exceptional circumstance. I just consumed a rather large sweet tea from Wackadoo’s (only $1!) and was making my way to relieve myself. I entered the bathroom to notice both stalls were occupied. I didn’t care much as I don’t suffer from stage fright when peeing as I once did as a kid. Then I heard it. “Unnnn…UHHHH!” I knew exactly who it was. I sat there at the urinal trying my best not to laugh and to merely look out the raised window at the clouds. There were some loud plops and lots of gas followed by another “Ahhh…” Then I heard some newspaper ruffling. I instantly put myself into the shoes of the second pooper. Imagine being in the bathroom trying to take a poop, just sitting there reading your paper when Grunty McFarts decides to take up residence in the adjacent stall. Now you have to sit through his grunting and loud gas as you try to focus in on your own goal. After failing at that, you decide to read the paper to try to get your mind off the atrocities occurring mere feet away from where you sit, pants at your ankles. The grunting and forced farting continues. You ruffle the paper as to say “Hey, asshole, I’m sitting right next to you.” Still, the horror goes on.
I sat there for a moment playing this all out in my head, then I had to quickly zip up and leave the bathroom as I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I trotted out the door and waited to get at least 10 feet away before cracking a big smile and laughing to myself for the entire walk back to this desk.
Jumping pic of the day
posted by Bob at
10:52 AM
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